Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Give Me Grace!

Today I emailed friends for prayer. Please understand it is not like me to seek help or to be weak. I have been alone for years now, and know what it is like to go through hard times and mountain tops, along with other seasons of the Christian life, including poverty..which I am still in! However, the past few weeks have been much more different than anything I've ever experienced and it is almost overwhelming, especially right now. Let me put it this way, nothing seems right, and nothing is fulfilling or satisfying. Not even my morning coffee. You know those little things you cherish without recognizing that are part of your routine and daily fulfillment in life? Or how about the things you do look foward to during the day? Nothing, and I mean nothing is satisfying me, and the big things are annoying me, like my job. So I took tomorrow off. I am fearful I could get upset and do something stupid like quit. That is how strange things are right now. Anyway, back to the asking for prayer. My friends are wonderful and of course respond with encouraging words and promises of prayer. I love my friends. But you know what I realize more than anything? The only thing they can do is pray and call on Jesus. There is no one right now that can help me but Jesus. No one......and nothing. Not even 5 million dollars would help me right now because what I am in need of is Grace, more Grace.....something money can't buy, something no one has but Jesus. I need a big application of it right to my heart! I need a heart change because something is wrong inside....... So I looked up some verses on grace, and of course it is used in different ways, and I found out it is used 170 times in the bible. Paul used it all the time, and needed it all the time! Me too! Guess which verse I picked out? 2 Corinthians 12:9 And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Well, I am pretty weak right now. A place us strong willed women from the 70's were taught to never be. And it would be wonderful to have God lift me up to a place I've never been, something no one, or nothing in this world can do but Him...... Give me Grace, more Grace.


Tammy said...

Daniel 19:12-13 it tells of why God took so long to answer his prayer,21 days to be exact.When the answer finally came,the angel said "Your prayer was heard but I was fighting the spiritual realm." (this is Tammy paraphrasing):)

Hold on! All you have right now is your faith and that's a good thing.

I'm praying for you,my friend.

Tammy said...

Love your new look. Also I didn't realize you had a son,I'll be praying for him too.

Beth in NC said...

Pam, just yesterday a speaker at our women's group said, "PEACE IS CONTENTMENT WITH GOD." That really struck a cord with me because there are so many times when I'm not walking in peace. She shared Isaiah, 26:3, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You."

I think it is interesting that you just moved. Look at the timing. Pam, you have come out of the closet in every area of your life. YOU KNOW SATAN IS NOT MAKING THIS EASY FOR YOU. I think the move is a prophetic act. You are in a NEW place -- physically and spiritually. Nothing feels familiar or comfortable.

Keep pressing through my friend. You are breaking out of that old wineskin and will soon feel more comfy in your new skin. You will shine even more than before!

God bless you!

Pam said...

Thanks Tammy and Beth! All words of encouragement and scripture are GREATLY appreciated!

Pam said...

And I am holding on....boy am I holding on.....

LisaShaw said...

Precious Pam,

I came on over to tell you thank you so much for leaving words of prayer/encouragement on my blog when I needed it. I'm on the road to healing but still sick.

But now I find my sister that you need my (our) prayers and I'm more than honored to stand with you.

Let me also say that it is in Christ that we are strong. In and of ourselves we are not strong so please do not feel you have to "explain" yourself for needing to ask for prayer! We are to "bare one anothers burdens in the Lord" and one of the ways we do is prayer.

Also, not just all we can do but the BEST THING we can do is to pray and lift you before the Lord. You are so right when you say that Jesus is who you need. He's who we all need. The world, people, things, places and money can never fulfill that longing within us that our soul cries for...that longing is for JESUS.

At times it takes hardships, the hurts from other people or situations we'd rather not deal with to draw us back to that great awareness that JESUS, WE NEED YOU!!!

Being abused in my childhood for many years in "secret" made me a hard shell in my twenties and even into the beginning of my thirites. I'd love and give but my guard was always up so I understand about "being a strong" person but the truth is that my greatest fulfillment and strength comes when I let the guard down, turn to my husband, certain relatives and specific friends and say, would you pray for me.

One lesson I learned as a Servant-Leader long ago is that you can't tell everyone everything, you can't even tell some everything but God will lead you to the ones that you can share it all with. Those who have His heart -- those who love you and those who are invested in your well-being!

We are here for you because we love you. We are invested in your well being as sisters in Christ. When you rejoice then I rejoice. When you weep then I weep. We are sisters. We don't have to know each other well. We don't need years to learn everything about each other. All that is important is that WE KNOW THE RISEN SAVIOR! WE BELONG TO ABBA FATHER and that makes us family.

I stand asking God for grace, grace and more grace for you. I pray for Him to take you from glory to glory and that as you stand firm footed in His word; you will see everything come to pass that He has for your life.

JESUS LOVES YOU and even when we are alone in the natural HE IS ALWAYS THERE.

You're a sweet sister and you are adored, absolutely adored by the LORD.

Love you.

Pam said...

Yes, you are right. Right now it seems so many areas of my life are being exposed. areas I didn't want exposed and ones I didn't know needed to be exposed. I also know what hard is, and being on guard is. It is also rejection that scares me. But I am trying to take little steps with the Lord to get there... thanks for the encouragement and prayers....I am learning..