Sunday, May 24, 2009

Jerrica and Kaleb

As I sit here writing this, it has been only a little over four months since the Lord opened the door to my abortions. It seems like it has been at least a year, so much has happened in such a brief period of time. The Lord has been gracious to me, taking the most humiliating and shameful part of my life - my motherhood, and has begun to turn it into something beautiful. Jerrica and Kaleb are the people He is using. Jerrica is the woman that was going to abort at four months pregnant, when the Lord had me intervene in her life. Kaleb is her son she now carries, and will be born into this world sometime around September 10th. My eyes are beginning to overflow with tears as I recall the day she went to have her ultrasound done at the local Crisis Pregnancy Center. She was beaten down, and in despair. There was not one person in her life offering hope, nor telling her to keep the child and give him life. Odds were stacked up high against her, but the Lord had other plans. As we talked, and she saw that her child was quite fine in the ultrasound, moving and hiccuping, the Lord began to work in her heart. He began to speak that she would be alright, He would help her, this child was important to Him. By the time we left Jerrica's countenance had changed from death/despair to life/hope. Believe it or not, that was two months ago today that I first met Jerrica and prayed with her. My friends, today things are so different for Jerrica. She is very confident that the Lord is going to help her in working things out, for she has prayed and asked Him into her heart and understands she is a sinner in need of a savior. She has asked Him to take away her desire for drugs and He has done just that! She has been clean for three months now. She is confidently completing her drug rehab classes, parenting classes, and doing everything that Social Services requires, to move forward in her life. She understands she is responsible for the decisions she made, and is paying the consequences of those decisions, not complaining, because she knows the Lord will honor her obedience. I have been involved with Jerrica, along with her family, these past two months, and because of her change, and the hope she has in the Lord, her family around her is changing. It only takes one person in a family to display the glory of God, to ignite a burning desire in others. Jerrica is doing wonderful, my friends. Now, let me tell you about another person who has changed. That would be the one writing this story. The Lord has done a marvelous work in my heart through Jerrica, the abortion clinic, the post abortive bible studies, the praying, and the wonderful friends in my life, who have been my encouragement in the tough times the past few months. He has definitely changed and prepared my heart for His plans and His purposes, which is something I would have never dreamed of in a million years. His name is Kaleb. He was named from the bible by his mother and myself, for when he is six weeks old he will come to live with his Mi Mi, which will be me, Pam. I will keep him for as long as Jerrica needs to get on her feet, and to bring her other three children back together as a family. Her family is very happy about this, and we are in agreement that if anything happens, I will adopt him as my own. He is very special to me. For just two months ago I could not have taken him, for my heart did not have the ability to, it couldn't bond with babies because of the three babies it killed many, many years ago. I could never bond with the three children I gave birth to. Fortunately, they understand, and have been most gracious and forgiving to me. They too, are excited about Kaleb, and what he means to us all. God has been so good to me. He didn't have to restore my heart, or give me a baby to love and bond with, along with his beautiful mother, whom I cherish deeply. He didn't have to send His only son to die a terrible death on a cross, so that I would be forgiven for all the sins committed against Him. He didn't have to love me as deeply as He does, so that I would have the ability to love others that deeply, and to experience great joy in that love. But He did. He is taking the most shameful, humiliating, part of my life, and turning it into something beautiful. A ministry for others. Love, to be poured out to others. Who could ever have imagined this? Only God my friends, only God. Pam


Beth in NC said...

Pam, isn't this something? God used you to save Kaleb's life and you may end up being his Mommy someday. Who knows what God has planned!

God bless you friend. This is very exciting!

Pam said...

I know! And it is all God! Regardless of any outcome, it is so wonderful the work God has done in my heart! He is so good, and I know He can help other women! That is what I am excited about also! Really being able to testify to His healing power! Who knows what the outcome will be! Thanks Beth!

LisaShaw said...

The Lord has; in healing your heart used you to touch another precious heart for His glory.

I'm sure the days ahead in both Kaleb and his mother's life God will use you even more. A bond of LIFE AND LOVE have been formed.

Blessings to you.

Purple Envelope Project said...

What a testiomony. Thank you so much for sharing.